Rage

This piece is featured in the collaborative project between WhyNot and Project See and B for Propel Youth Arts WA 2024 KickstART Festival in Western Australia.

Words by Lea (she/her) 19 WA

I solemnly swear to never write about a man
To never bring his words into mine
That those notions of identity created by him will never show his way into my works or
That I will become my own
And my name will be its own…

But,

The rage I hold is created by them
These words I know so well are by them
I know nothing except for them

My last name will never be owned by a woman
Because it is a long dying hand of men before us,
Before her.

I will always use his words
Because his words shaped me
His words were forced down my throat
Loud, arrogant, rude.

He has started a fire he is now unable to put out
But it fuels his fantasies
One night girl so he can feel the 1% of love he is missing
Difficult girl so he can have a challenge, feel the rage she inherits
Opinionated girl so he can change her, mould her

She is ablaze at all hours
The hairs on her arm twitch as her body sways
She can not contain her fists
Whilst her words spew like a bad hangover
She will never know the terms of peace
Because she is in this game
Trying not to write, create, speak about the man

To fuel a rage
To share the rage
Yet by avoiding the rage
Or speaking about the rage

We realise he is the rage
And he will never be escaped. Because by writing about how we hate, despise or mourn his
loss, his words will always be ours.

 

Illustration by Jodie. You can find more of her work on Instagram @jodie_ellin

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